Experiencing loss at an early age can feel isolating and overwhelming. Often, children don’t have the vocabulary to accurately express their emotions or the knowledge to understand the complexity of grief. Using tools and strategies available, parents and caregivers can provide comfort to their child. Activities such as art, writing, and imaginative play can provide a way to process emotions without any pressure.
Expression Through Art
Memory drawing and painting are great ways to reintroduce positive emotions and memories to a grieving child. Instead of asking to share their feelings, provide paper and art supplies. Then, provide a prompt involving the lost loved one. For instance, ask about a happy memory, a meaningful location, or even a portrait. Once finished with their work, store the drawings in a designated folder or display them on the wall.
As mentioned earlier, words are not as accessible to children as they are to adults. However, visual cues can help make abstract emotions easier to recognize. Emotional color mapping can help parents and caregivers better understand their child during this difficult time. Ask the child to create a color chart where they can connect certain colors to an emotion. Refer to the chart when later discussing emotions or looking over drawings.
Expression Through Writing
For older children and teens, sometimes writing is more effective than drawing. Unlike the latter, writing can be more private and personal. It allows them to revisit memories and explore emotions at their own pace. Structured support, such as a griefmail series, can offer inspiration for journaling. Parents and caregivers can also provide prompts. Some examples can include:
- “I wish…”
- “I wonder…”
- “What makes me feel the saddest…”
- “If I could change things, I would…”
- “When I am alone…”
Nudges like these allow the child to focus on one aspect instead of feeling overwhelmed by a blank page. There is no specified outcome or length to a child’s response; simply allowing self-expression is the goal.
An alternative to journaling is a reflection jar or family mailbox. Both provide an opportunity for children to write, but with the intention of sharing. Children can write down questions, memories they wish to share, or emotions they’ve been experiencing on a piece of paper. They then put it into a designated box or jar. Families can set a time, whether weekly or monthly, to review the contents and discuss what was written.
Expression Through Acting and Play
Acting is a great opportunity for children to process emotions using their bodies and imagination. One option is puppetry. Using a puppet as their outlet, children can share stories or express emotions that they wouldn’t be able to as themselves. Parents and guardians can help guide this activity by providing prompts, offering short stories to act out, or participating alongside their child. This type of play not only removes pressure from the child but can be fun for those involved.
Designating a “big feelings” space in the home can also help children release strong emotions using their bodies. In this designated area, children are allowed to stomp, jump, act out big feelings, or move their bodies freely. This type of play is especially useful for children who frequently experience intense emotions, such as anger or frustration, as they grieve. By providing a space with clear boundaries, children can safely express their feelings without judgment.
Creative activities, whether it’s journaling or painting, provide children with an alternative outlet to express themselves without the pressure of getting it right. For homeschoolers, these activities can be easily added to their child’s curriculum and home life. Although mourning the loss of a loved one can feel overwhelming, having the right tools can help ease the process.
Author Bio: Lisa Huycke is the Owner and CEO of Hope Through Healing Publications, a company that creates bereavement support materials designed to help caregivers, hospices, hospitals, funeral homes, and families provide comfort and connection to those navigating grief. The business has been supporting grief care professionals and individuals across the United States for over 25 years with products like sympathy cards, grief journals, and grief mail series. With 6 years of leadership experience at the company, Huycke focuses on guiding the organization’s mission to offer empathetic, meaningful resources that validate the grief experience and help ease the journey of healing.
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